It’s the music. It has magical powers that transports me. It moves me, not just in this moment, but it moves me right into the moment I made my first musical memory with this song. It envelopes me, wraps me up and whirls me around in the land of memories, and sets me right back into that chair, my favorite chair, Goldie, beside that table with those fall flowers, the scent of that candle burning and the sun light trickling in through the window, onto my lap as I read, as I wrote, as I pleaded with God to relieve my mind with clarity of the season.
Ridiculous that you can spend so much time wishing you were somewhere else, that you lived a role in a different movie, that your world that currently is, might be something a bit more familiar, a bit more predictable. This song, this memory, the moments I am remembering, were stretching and yet completely thrilling. Exhausting, but hysterical, and though I can easily remember, almost feel the heartache I carried, and the questions I had, the constant questions, I can feel the excitement of the newness. The thrill of something new, that made waking up, that made getting dressed and working the long, very long hours absolutely worth it.
Post college internships; what are they good for? Well, mine was pretty good at helping me heal, try, grow and test my limits. It was good for mid afternoon dance parties, hardcore evening workouts, and an endless supply of Gobstoppers. It brought me friends that would inspire me, and continue to influence my world, even after we all parted ways. It brought me bizarre experiences that were so much bigger than I could’ve ever created for myself, and gave me opportunities so diverse it’s almost to hard to fully describe. My post college internship, it packed my post college life with the most abundant stories. Big, fabulous stories, that make my short life so far seem overwhelmingly full. Silly that as it was starting, I was wishing for something different, something back there in my past, that had already been lived, something comfortable.
Thank you God for not making each step clear, thank you for leaving the adventure of discovery in the mix. Thank you that you were with me through my heartbreak and separation. That you gave me just the people I needed to make me excited to move on, to keep swimming. And thank you for these inspired songs that teach me gratitude.
These Golden Days, the fall inspired, Good Medicine playlist that my friend Ryan Hollingsworth curated for this design inspired life.
Nostalgia took over as I wrote and listened to this playlist today, and as I scrolled through and read each one of these Instagram posts from my first internship at Elevation, I realized more how perfectly wild my life has been. And that not one of the days, not one of the moments was ever really wasted, not even the ones I didn’t think were pretty enough to photograph.